so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize