New low: just hacked my moms facebook
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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