Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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