My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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