She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
