His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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