She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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