remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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