NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
