my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
