My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize