Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
