What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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