I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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