is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
vagina is talking i cant
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
