He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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