Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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