he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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