girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
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I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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