So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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