Having a random hookup so left but love u
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
