Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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