I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
