I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize