I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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