Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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