Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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