Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
