i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
