Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Randomize
