yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
