i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
