It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
