hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize