Swine flu is the new snow day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
