I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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