i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize