I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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