I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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