Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
