she was so not down for the gang bang
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
