they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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