I'm pants shitting drunk right now
another moral hangover. fuck.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
