u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
