Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
