i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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