I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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