Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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