When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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