Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
