You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
