they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
