do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
