I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize