I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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