His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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