I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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