so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
