so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
