definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
