My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
