im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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