time to smoke my breakfast
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
