they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
